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Predators Review

Posted on August 7, 2010 at 11:57 AM Comments comments (0)

8 Headshots/ 10

Fear Is Reborn

Favorite Quote : "This Planet is a game preserve, and we're the game"

Directed By Nimrod Antal

Starring Adrien Brody, Topher Grace, Walton Goggins, Danny Trejo, Alice Braga

Release Date 2010

Whats It About?

A group warriors wake up on a distant planet only to be hunted by an alien species known as Predators

The Movie

The original Predator is a legend in the action/scifi/horror element genre. It shows exactly what makes the type of film work, and is just an overall great film. So naturally Predators, a sequeal to the film (that skips over predator 2 and the AVP's) has alot ot live up to. For the most part the film succeeds in capturing the first films charm, while doing some new things for itself. The movie centers on a group of bad people (bad meaning there's no clear cut heroes here, all of our characters were chosen by the Predators due to the fact that their cold blooded killers themselves) landing on a planet with whatever they had on them at a time and quickly figuring out their fucked. Theres alot of tension between our characters since all of them are from different walks of life. A mexican drug cartel enforcer, a Russian spetznaz soldier, a American private security contractor, and a convicted rapist/ murderer that was just on death row is just a few of them. So theres more then a couple scenes where characters butt heads. Theres also that necessary "discovery" portion of the film. Where our "hereos" piece together their situation through finding past dead game, traps set by other's for the preds, and even a crazy survivor played by Laurence Fishburn whos been on the planet for 10 seasons. Another good aspect to the film was that, like the original had its one liners, this one has some comedic releif from our convict. The guys just a shithead in general.  The film does have its bad parts though. There were times where I was just bored. It seemed like they film was alot more tame then it should have been. Yeah we had some very violent parts but we didnt get any classic predator weapons. No spear, no really cool shoulder weapon hits like the original. Those things are just taste issues though. Another thing that was hit and miss for me was that the different predator classes were feuding. We dont know if its just a small planet side problem or their whole race, but there's really know way to know since the film is centered on this one game preserve planet. So it leaves a big question of why the fuck are they fighting and why does it matter to us humans? It seemed like they just used that as a plot device instead of fleshing it out. But anyway, for the most part the film delevierd and I'm glad its made over a $100 Million so far worldwide. Also, llike the original, we have some great quotes.

Eye Candy

Alice Braga is cute enough but no nudity here. Unless you like Adrien Brody shirtless and pulling the classic Arnie mud trick.

Violence Report

We kid some stabs, skull/spine ripped through the back, some blood splat here and there. Tame for a predator film


Predators manages to live up to the original/ pay homage. While adding new aspects to the franchise/mythos of the predator universe. Tame on the violence but full of good characters and situations.

Dune Review

Posted on July 28, 2010 at 1:56 AM Comments comments (0)

4 Headshots/10

You are about to enter a world where the unexpected, the unknown, and the unbelievable meet.

Directed by David Lynch

Kyle MacLachlan, Sting, Virginia Madsen

Release Date 1984

Whats it about?

In the distant future, a man appears who may be the prophet that a long-suffering galaxy has been waiting for. Thats what IMDB says, but the story, the universe of this film is much more then a sentence.

The Movie

Dune the book is one of those classic science fiction novels that is a must read for any scifi fan, or even a reader who enjoys a rich world, interesting character, and a wel tied together and deep story. The movie however misses everything the book did well on every level, and its a shame. In the distant future the universe is ran by families (like Medievil times) who all plot and scheme to be the biggest kid on the block (er star system). All of which are tied together by a great race of aliens who control space by being the only beings cable of space travel...so naturally the super space beings want to keep their power at any cost. Which leads us to the Atreides clan, a honorable proud family who is on the verge of training the best soldiers the universe has ever seen, and suddenly get the "honor" or controlling the planet Dune (which is the only source of The Spice which is what controls the universe. In this plot is the house of Harkoneen who are evil assholes that the Guild (super space beings) puts in a place to destroy the house of Atreides before they can become the super power that they are destined to be.

Thats the plot in a nutshell, there is so much more. But lets get onto why the film sucks even though the source material is fucking great. Its cluttered. Its so badly cluttered that they miss things that should be in, make changes that are fucking stupid, have a script that is cheesely acting to hell, and is just boring as fuck. The book is not an easy read by far but the movie, while it follows the same general plot of the book, fails to get you into it and just makes it a drag to watch. What the film does well however is making the House of Harkoneen big assholes that you love to hate. As well as making the final conclussion to our heroes all the more satisfying. Its just a shame they couldnt mix these 2 factors into a better overall film. In fact, the director, David Lynch was so displeased by the films turnout that he took his name off the credits.

Violence Report

Some fighting and war but overall tame.

Eye Candy



Great source material ruined by a sloppy script, cheesy acting, wasted actors, bad special FX, and terrible pacing.


Pandorum Review

Posted on June 16, 2010 at 12:31 PM Comments comments (0)

7 Headshots/ 10

Fear What Happens Next

Directed by Christain Alvart

Starring Dennis Quaid, Ben Foster

Release Date 2009

Whats it about?

Astronauts wake up from cyro freeze not knowing whats going on, where they are, or why the fuck killer creatures are running around the ship

The Movie



I love space films. I love horror films. I love a good space/horror film and thankfully Pandorum is one of those films. Thing The Descent and Event Horizon and you can get idea about some of the elements this film is all about.  If this film would have been marketed and released at a different time they it would have been a hit., but someone dropped the ball on that one. Ben Foster and Dennis Quaid do a great job as two astronauts that wake up not knowing what the hell is going on and add to that being chased by monsters. The plot moves along nicely and thankfully doesn't have any cg (apart from some spaceship shots and minor things). The couple of twists the movie has are well done and not too predictable. It was great following our heroes around the ship as they uncover answers and slowly remember who they are and what the fuck their original mission was. The people we meet along the way bring different horror elements. Weather it was a crazy canibal or a victim to the monster.  One of the few problems I had with the film was the amount of acrobatic martial arts 2 of the characters seemed to be masters at. It wasn't too off the wall just strange that 2 of these people that happened to be alive knew the stuff. Apart from the ending not really going along with the tone of the film I though it was a good ride. Oh and even though it made for great atmosphere (cramped corridors, low lighting, monsters, blood) nothing really was scary about it. Overall it was a good space/horror film with great acting and entertaining plot. Saying a bit more on the main twist, it was great. I kind of had the sense of someting being off but I didnt guess it which made it all the better.

Violence Report

Some stabbings, hangings, monsters eatin people. Good stuff

Eye Candy

The lead girl has a nice rack but we dont see em


Great atmosphere and story. Some stupid elements like alot of random karate. Great twist and good acting.




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