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Darkness On The Edge Of Town Review

Posted on June 25, 2010 at 1:57 PM Comments comments (0)

6 Headshots/10


Written by Brian Keene

Published By Leisure Fiction

Released FEB 2010


Whats it about?

One morning the residents of Walden Virgina wake up to complete darkness. No power, no stars nothing. And on the edge of town, a living breathing pure evil entity darker then dark.


The Book

Darkness on the Edge of Town is about the 14th book Ive read by Brian Keene. The guy knows how to write brutal stories and for the most part (hes had a few stinkers) has been solid in his books for brininging interesting characters, good stories, and brutal slayings. This book, while a different kind of horror, is an interesting one.


It story follows a pizza boy and his girlfriend (Rob and Christy) and a few other townfolk who wake up to darkness. Not only is it pitch black night during the day, but theres no stars, moon, all the powers out, and theres a thick entity surrounding the town at all points that kills you if you enter, taunts you with images that scare you, or influences you to do murderous things to others. You dont have to be familiar with Keenes work to understand this, becasue its very straigforward. But its helpful to know his other work in order to pick up on the subtle references (characters, situations etc) referenced in this one, which makes it cool to elaborate on Keenes huge world of mythology.


The story moves along from a slow pace to frantic action every now and then, but usually just chugs along at the slower pace. Which is a downfall. But it fits the bleak tone of the book well, I was just hoping for a bit more actiong seeing that the town was going crazy. We do get glimpses into the horror from the characters encounters into the world for one reason or another.The best part about the book was the character Dez, a homesless guy into the magic that helped keep the darkness out of the town, but is powerless to do anything else do to his own emotional problems.


To finish the review up, the story was interesting but the characters werent. Which is why the book didnt get a highter ranking. I didnt really give a shit about them. Add to the fact that while I can understand that their situation sucked bad, they didnt go through half as much stuff as they should have in order for me to care about them, or justify their existence. I cared more about a side character (Dez) that only had about 6 pages of time then these mains. Also, the ending is bleak and twisted but wasnt the resolution that I had hoped for.


Verdict

Interesting story, great villains, good addons to the Keene mythos/world. Bland characters that I didnt care about it.

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 Review

Posted on June 25, 2010 at 12:12 AM Comments comments (0)

1 Headshot/ 10


Directed by Tony Scott

Starring Denzel Washington, John Travolta

Release Date 2009


Whats it about?

Armed guys take over a New York city subway car and make demands


The Movie

Denzel Washington is one of those actors that plays the same part in every movie, and usually does it well. Same for John Travolta. Both of which im not huge fans of but both of which have made good films. But, ugh..... this movie was terrible. The characters themselves (while having backstories) are shallow and paper thin. Usually in this type of movie you usually want one of the characters to win but with this they were so bland I didnt really care. Not to mention that I dont think Travolta can pull off the bad guy look (outside of Pulp Fiction which is a different type of bad guy) and that he says Mother Fucker 12 times in the movie, I counted...all of which are stupidly funny becasue I just cant see Travolta trying to be the tought guy that this character was supposed to be. The plot itself was simple enough but just dragged on and with talking that nobody cared about, and killing that didnt make sense (killing characters for the hell of it or for shocks) All in all very poor action, bland story that was super slow, and too many unrealistic scenes. A police car driving through the streets slams into a taxi flipping him and none of the cops stop to check? Those types of scenes plagued this film and just added to the sillyness that it didnt intend to have. Also, usually the villain has an interesting reason for doing things, but in this film couldnt even get that right. It seemed like Travolta and Washington were in it for the pay check because they brought nothing to this already terrible film.


Violence Report

Bullet hits, some fights.


Eye Candy

Unless you like Travolta with fake ass neck tattoos then nothing


Verdict

Terrible characters, miscast actors, stupid plot, stupid situations, stupid action, painful soundtrack. Nohting in this film worth watching unless you want to cringe at how bad it is.

 

 


The Final Destination Review

Posted on June 23, 2010 at 1:03 AM Comments comments (0)


6 Headshots/ 10


Rest In Pieces


Directed By David R. Ellis

Starring Bobby Campo, Shantel VanShanten, Nick Zano, Haley Webb

Release Date 2009


Whats it about?

Once again a person sees the death's of him and his friends before they happen, he saves them for the time being only to have death hunt each of them down.


The Movie

If your familiar with the other final destination films then you already know how this movie will play out. A bunch of people seemingly get killed... but "thankfully" one "lucky" person sees it before it happens and is able to save his buddies and a few other stereotypes from their fate, only to be slaughtered in worse ways. The characters themselves are the typical early 20's people. The nice guy with the nice girl, the popular dick with the "I still dont believe in this although everyones dying" girl.... and some fill in characters just for a death. The deaths themselves are jokes in this movie.. literally. We have a mom saying "Ive got my eye on you" seconds before she gets a rock in the eye. So the movie seems like a cash in gimic but at the same time are fun (thats demented). The deaths, which is what this movie is about, are very eleaborate but they seemed toned down since the previous FD3 (best of the series). We get alot of deaths where the carnage is only hinted at.. which works, but is different from the other films who usually have the blood on screen as it happens.  All in all the movie does what its promisies to do, have people die. But the way they pull alot of them off lacked the "everyday activities" feel. The 3D aspect of the film was fun, we get pieces of stuff flying at the screen, fire coming at you, some blood, and some bouncing breasts. The actors played their parts well and when we do get to look at the violence in action its gruesome. Just felt like it was more tame then the rest of the series and was too aware of itself. Which is either good (making it just a fun entertaining movie) or bad (if you want it to be a straight up horror film)


Violence Report

Lots of blood, brutal slayings, fun 3D stuff.


Eye Candy

We get the main girl wakling around in underwear, some bouncing boobs in a sex scene (in 3D :)


Verdict

Fun in 3D, same characters as the other films, exact plot (cant really change it though) gimicky deaths. Overall a fun film that might bring you back for a followup.


Final Destination films ranking

Final Destination 3

Final Destination (1)

The Final Destion (4)

Final Destination 2

Zombie Bloodbath Trilogy

Posted on June 20, 2010 at 6:03 PM Comments comments (0)

7 Headshots/ 10


Directed by Todd Sheets

Starring Dave Miller

Release Date 1995


Whats it about?

The Zombie Bloodbath Trilogy is about...umm. Alot of stuff is going on. Murderers, zombies, canibals, everything. No plots


The Movies

If you want to rate these a real movies with real plots and whatnot then these are terrible. If you want to rate them for their entertainment value then they are good. Sorry if that doesnt make sense. You will at least enjoy these if you are a gorehound. Likewise if your looking to get grossed out by overthetop gore, bad dubbing, and terrible acting then you will be pleased. I dont know.. if you sit back and know beforehand that these movies are gona suck, and you just prepare yourself to have a good time then you will enjoy these. Otherwise if you come into it wanting to watch good movies then you will be let down.Thers a few laughs in here that you will enjoy as well. So sit back and prepare for lots of blood and guts, some funny moments, terrible acting and bad plots.Its just one of those films that are very fun, gross, and stupid as hell


Violence Report

Tons of blood, gross body parts being ripped, impalings, stabbings, everything. Great gorehound times


Eye Candy

There are some boobs bouncing around, but most of the nudity has something violent/disturbing coming with it.


Verdict

Stupid as hell movies, terrible acting, ultra violent. Greatly entertaining

 



Drag Me To Hell Review

Posted on June 20, 2010 at 3:46 PM Comments comments (0)

4 Headshots/ 10


Directed by Sam Raimi

Starring Alison Lohman, Justin Long

Release Date 2009


Whats it about?

A very sweet girl is cursed by a gypsi when she doesnt give her a bank loan. Where she has a few days of torment before she is taken to hell. What a bitch right?


The Movie

I had extremely high hopes for this film. Im a huge fan/nerd of Sam Raimi's horror films (back when he was the man) and by the looks of the trailer and the plot line it looked like Raimi was giving his horror nerd fans what we had been asking/hoping for for years....sadly.....the movie sucked. To get the goods out of the way, the acting was fantastic. Justin Long plays the loveable boyfriend that you cant help but like, and Alison Lohman plays the sweet innocent girl that you cant help but feel bad for. So that worked very well. The supporting cast of characters all did their jobs well. The crazy gypsy, the people into black magic, the asshole bank boss etc etc. Now on to what made this film suck. For the first 75% of the film it was all full of cheap jump scares which in my opinion is good in moderation, but not the sole thing to try to scare you. The film didn have a few gross out moments but these were dumbed down with terrible CGI effects. Which is dumb because Raimi's EVIL DEAD FILMS are full of great practical FX, so it's stupid that he would rely on CGI. Thats just lazy filmaking to me. The film started to pick up toward the end where I really got the classic Raimi horror style feeling. It started mixing slapstick comedy with horror, which really worked for this film. The plot always moved along at a steady pace, mixing feel bad for the girl moments, bad cgi scares or gross outs, and the leads trying to figure out how the fuck to get this demon out of their lives. The twist was seen from a mile away but it was still a good one.


Violence Report

Some classic gross outs, TERRIBLE CGI FX ruins the violence in this film

 

 Eye Candy

The main girl is a cutie but nothing in this film


Verdict

Terrible CG, wasted premise, great acting. Good for a once over but nothing warranting a follow up viewing.





Observe and Report Review

Posted on June 18, 2010 at 10:44 PM Comments comments (0)


8.5 Headshots/10


Right Now, The World Needs A Hero


Directed by Jody Hill

Starring Seth Rogen, Anna Faris, Michael Pena, Ray Liotta

Release Date 2009


Whats it about?

A security guard and his team try to catch a serial flasher


The Movie

Observe and Report isnt the full of laughs movie that the trailer made it out to be. It is however, a very funny movie if you can find something to connect with.. or just enjoy the sense of humor. Its such a over the top movie becasue the job it portrays is alot of the time taken way to seriouslly by the workers (a security guard).. which is what makes the movie good. The supporting cast is great as well. All of his security team and mall employess play great dumbass characters. Seth Rogen is the character that he usually is and plays very well. I guess I liked it more then others becasue me and my buddies have done the type of job and can connect with how dumb the situations that a guard can get into. Overall good for a once over (unless you enjoy the sense of humor like me then many veiwings) even if you are disspointed by how the trailer made it look. Take it as a mindless comedy/drama about a mindless job and you'll find something you like.


Violence Report

Some very funny fist fights, a great bullet hit


Eye Candy

Some boobs in the changing room, the guys checking out hotties walking by..and Anna Faris dresses like a ho the whole time


Verdict

Great sense of humor, great random violence, lots of great quotes

 


Trick 'R' Treat Review

Posted on June 18, 2010 at 12:40 PM Comments comments (0)

3 Headshots/ 10


Poison, Drowning, Claw or Knife. So Many Ways To Take A Life


Directed by Michael Dougherty

Starring Dylan Baker, Rochelle Aytes, Quinn Lord, Lauren Lee Smith

Release Date 2008


Whats it about?

4 different stories come together on halloween night in a town where shit always seems to happen. Should have moved?


The Movie

 Trick 'R' Treat is one of those films that has a trailer that makes it look great, but when you actually get the movie...its not. The story follows a bunch of different groups through their different experiences on halloween night. The main problem I had with the film were the 4 stories. All of them were very sloppy and thrown together. And the transitions from story to story didnt flesh together well. Which sucks becasue a few of the side stories were demented a creepy, but were ruined by the sloppy writing and bad pacing. The goods were the whole film was one big homage to halloween and other horror films, which made the movie very fun to watch even with the problems. The acting was done well enough, we had some very cool/creepy villians and corky characters that helped with the fun factor aspect. To make a comparison the film played out like a bunch of Outer Limits episodes strung together into one movie.


Violence Report

Very creepy villians, some stabbings, hangings, some random blood


Eye Candy

We get some minor flesh but nothing great


Verdict

Go into it not expecting much and you should enjoy it. More of background movie as you do something else.

 

Law Abiding Citizen Review

Posted on June 18, 2010 at 2:00 AM Comments comments (0)


7.25 Headshots/10


The System Must Pay


Directed by F. Gary Gray

Starring Gerard Butler, Jamie Foxx

Release Date 2009


Whats it about?

10 years after his family is killed and himself left for dead, Butlers character starts exactly revenge on everone that allowed the criminal to be free


The Movie

Well, to start off I really like Gerard Butler and Jamie Foxx is usually really good, and I also like revenge films.... so this had that going for it right away. The story itself starts off as most revenge films do with a horrific act happening to a regular joes family. That scene is a hard one to watch espcially if you have a family of your own. After that the revenge part of the story takes off when 10 years later Butler starts teaching his lesson to the law that let him and his family down with light sentences. The plot moves nicely and is acted out well. The reason I gave this a 7 out of 10 was  becasue I felt no sympathy for Foxx's(the attorney) character and thats what the film tried to make you feel... he didn't deserve any and in the end the film tried to twist the justice back to the hero of the film.. which in my opinion totally ruined the message it tried to get across. Overall top notch acting, good plot, but marked down by a stupid ending and fate for the real hero of the film Butler.


Violence Report

This movie brought the revenge in brual fashion. Lots of cuts, shootings, burns..alot of blood makes this a good violent romp


Eye Candy

We get a ho have naked but other then that nothing


Verdict

Great acting, great violence, good plot. Character resolution wasnt what I had hoped for. Still good for a viewing but nothing really to bring you back for a repeat.

 


The Hills Run Red Review

Posted on June 18, 2010 at 1:45 AM Comments comments (0)

2 Headshots/ 10


Directed By Dave Parker

Starring Sophie Monk, Tad Hilgenbrink, William Sadler

Release Date 2009


Whats it about?

A group of cliche 20 somethings set out to find the lost footage of an infamous horror film.


The Movie

Look at that poster, the font seems to be the exact one used for The Hills Have Eyes Remake..wierd. As for the film.....BAD. The premise has been used before and an all of those films done alot better (murderers in the woods) Which isnt a bad thing because usually a slasher set in the woods can be a great time. The film has a cast of lesser known actors (the biggest star being Stiflers little brother from the American Pie movies),who all played their parts well. Its just the material they were acting out sucked. I felt that the movie tried to do to much for its own good. Instead of sticking to the main theme and having violence along the way, they threw in side plots that didnt matter and some characters that didnt help the film in anyway. Those things just ended up making the film even slower then it was and keeping us away from the kills...which were the only good thing in this turd. I also felt that it tried to add in cliches just becasue they felt they had too. There was a completley random cut to sex scene that I guess was supposed to add some tension to the story....but they never touched on that again. Plus they didnt even show some boob so it was completely wasted screen time. The good thing was (besides having one terrrrribleee CGI desmembering) the FX was pretty spot on. I even feel this review sucks becasue the film didnt give that much to review..it was just a bland thing.

 

 


Violence Report

Some terrible CGI on a potentially good scene. some blood and stabbings too


Eye Candy

Some strip club scenes were alright


Verdict

Wasted location, dumb characters nobody cared about, BAD CG...bad film

Big Fan Review

Posted on June 18, 2010 at 1:35 AM Comments comments (0)

7 Headshots/10


Directed By Robert D. Siegel

Starring Patton Oswalk, Kevin Corrigan, Michael Rapaport

Release Date 2009


Whats it about?

A super fan of the NY Giants takes his fan status to a different stage when he's beaten up by his favorite star and has to deal with it.


The Movie

If you expecting a big comedy movie (seeing that its in the comedy section and features 2 comedic actors)then you will be let down at the lack of big laughs... but not at the quality of the movie that plays out. Its a drama centered around a 40something super sports fan that mixes his sunday fandom into his everyday life which kinda makes him not see the world for what it is... which leads to some bad decisions (following a sports star to bad neighborhoods?) and finally to the final dumbass move he makes that leads him into a dark stage in his life. The story itself plays out well and keeps you entertained through likeable characters and thoughtful writing. Oswalks character clearly has some problems which are portayed well in the film weather its him spending his work day writing what hes going to say to his favorite sports talk radio, to arguing with his mother about staying up late.  All in all its a good story with good acting/writing. The bad decisions would be cliche in a horror movie but here they work because they show what the character is..... a big fan.


Violence Report

Oswalt gets a beatdown by a huge football player. Its kinda sad scene seeing a huge dude beat up a little guy


Eye Candy

Some strippers but no nudity


Verdict

Good story made better by likeable characters. Has a slower pace but is worth a watch


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